Willy

[phedredelaunay]

While Hannibal was gone, Phedre went and spoke to Alcuin. He was in and out of consciousness, though it seemed not to be the injury but more whatever pain medication House had given him. He'd said something about Willy, and Phedre was certain that Hannibal wasn't going to send word to him, so after she left she went over to the inn herself.

It was evening by then, and Willy was easy to find. She ordered a glass of wine out of politeness to the establishment, so that she could wait until his song was over. It wasn't as if there was a rush at this point.

Comments

[alcuin]

This was all so sudden, and unexpected, and...

Willy. He'd offered to make Hannibal fall in love with him.

He knew that it probably wasn't likely, but it was enough to make him doubt, on top of everything else. Including, as Hannibal said, being a free man.

He was torn on what to say, but finally told the truth. " I think I've loved you for years," he said, and put down his spoon. "But right now, I just... I need to think."

[anamusebouche]

Hannibal nodded, a little disappointed. "I understand."

"The feelings are not sudden, if you were wondering. But you know I am not prone to act on emotion."

[alcuin]

The fact that he mentioned both Greg and Phedre did lend support to the idea that this was not some sudden magic from Willy. And well. He could always just ask Phedre.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "This - this is not what I imagined I would feel." Maybe it was Willy. Maybe it was almost dying because of something Hannibal had pushed him to do. Or maybe it was just because this felt like how things had always been with Hannibal. The expectation that Alcuin would do exactly as was expected of him. Stay in my room now. That was it, businesslike.

Maybe it wasn't fair of him. But he knew what actual romance felt like now.

[anamusebouche]

"Well, as I said; you're a free man. I will leave it to you to do as you will," Hannibal replied. He didn't push the hurt out of his voice entirely.

[alcuin]

Alcuin opened his mouth, then closed it again, and then nodded.

He should say something else, he thought. He should do something. Kiss him, maybe. What was he thinking? Wasn't this what he wanted?

But in the end, he just lingered awkwardly for a moment, the conflict very clear on his face, and then... walked away.

[anamusebouche]

Hannibal watched him go. He was aware that it may have been too late and that perhaps he had misjudged Alcuin and that he was less frailt and insecure than he gathered.

He sat back down to finish his breakfast. Halicon had quite a delicious taste; the kill had been swift and the meat was quite sweet still.

[phedredelaunay]

A few minutes later, Phedre walked in.

"Alcuin seems awfully upset for someone who was just saved from the brink of death," she said.

[anamusebouche]

"A lot has changed for him," Hannibal said and without asking if she wanted breakfast, filled a plate for her. "He's a free man, healed, but scarred, Willy left him, I told him I care for him, Halicon has been found dead... it's a lot to deal with." He said, conversationally, filling the bowl with soup and slipping his own confession amidst the summation.

[phedredelaunay]

Phedre blinked at him, trying to decide where to start.

She sat down at the table. Okay, fine, she did know what she was most curious about. "You told him you care for him?"

[anamusebouche]

"Yes," Hannibal admitted. "These past days have made me realise I do while he's no longer near death... The urge to say it remained."

[phedredelaunay]

"Well I take it he didn't throw himself into your arms," Phedre said.

She was somewhat surprised by this, but at the same time... also not really.

[anamusebouche]

"... No," Hannibal said only, feeling quite hurt at that.

[phedredelaunay]

"Well I think that if you want that to change you ought to figure out why," Phedre said. "Or do you already know?"

[anamusebouche]

"I said; there is a lot he's going through at the moment," Hannibal repeated. There were others things, too, of course, but he did not say.

[phedredelaunay]

Phedre hmmmmed. Then said, “But… also Willy left him?” So that meant it wasn’t that…

[anamusebouche]

"Yesterday" Hannibal replied. "I suppose that was still fresh on his mind. Perhaps I should not have confessed this morning, but I... didn't want him to leave."

[phedredelaunay]

Phedre looked at him for a long moment and then said, "And until the day before yesterday, he couldn't have. I know how you've felt about him for a long time, Hannibal. But he hasn't. And the timing... you can see how it might seem less like romance and more like a means of control."

[anamusebouche]

"He told me he didn't want to leave my employ," Hannibal replied. "I merely added I wanted him by me side. But I'll arrange flowers. Would that help?"

[phedredelaunay]

"Hannibal...." Phedre sighed.

She didn't want to offend him, but honestly. "Do you love him? Truly?"

[anamusebouche]

"I feel strongly for him," Hannibal said. He wouldn't admit to love until he had him by his side.

"You think I shouldn't have spoken?"

[phedredelaunay]

"I think... I think you didn't think this through properly," Phedre said, honestly. "You must see why, regardless of what he's felt for you, he didn't simply throw himself into your arms."

[anamusebouche]

No, but he stopped thinking of the murder, and he might put things into perspective. And if not.... Hannibal could always kill him, sad though that would make him.

"I don't want to loose him."

[phedredelaunay]

"I'm sorry, Hannibal, but it appears you're going to have to actually make an effort," Phedre said. Then, bluntly: "You waited too long, and now it will e harder for you."

[anamusebouche]

"I could hardly have made a pass while he was indebted to me," Hannibal argued.

[phedredelaunay]

"Then you need to make it clear that's why you waited, darling," Phedre said. "That you've been pining this whole time... that you see him as an equal."